Okay, so we all make them: the fashion mistakes that have most likely ended up on I Love the 80’s where you gag and go “I can’t believe I used to wear something like that!” Well guess what, ladies and gents? We’re amidst the biggest fashion fad disaster of all time! Welcome to the world of skinny jeans, oversized scarves, and those god awful giant gold watches.
First, the skinny jean. I am a skinny jean owner myself, and must say, what am I thinking??? First, the fact that they come in bright purple and green and any other color is repusling. How dare you, Urban Outfitters. Shame on you! I didn’t realize that we live in a modern day circus. No seriously, think about it. Clowns, anyone? Bright blue skinny jeans with shiny pink shoes. Now all you need is clown makeup and you’re ready for the show! Oh wait! Most girls DO rock clown makeup nowadays:
::sigh:: Alas, I cannot end here. Let’s move on to the scarves. First, let me just say, I love wearing scarves. They’re fun and colorful and when you’re riding your bike they come in handy as an essential neck protector. However, there comes a time when one must realize that wearing a scarve the size of your comforter simply is taking the fashion trend a little too far. I mean, if you’re able to use the scarf at a sleepover as your means of warmth, you have a problem. I just don’t get it. What a waste of fabric. Not only that, but wouldn’t it be uncomfortable to tie a blanket around your neck and lug it around as a fashion accessory? Boys, you’re guilty of this one too. Come on, people!!!!
And now I shall continue with the giant gold watches. First, why? Why must we have a watch the size of a wall clock around our wrist? I simply don’t understand. If anything, it makes you look like a dumbass who can’t read numbers smaller than a 48 size font. And truly, this may be the case for a person or two, but I highly doubt every person that owns a giant watch has a vision problem. They’re usually never wearing giant, thick-lensed glasses anyway. I can only draw a few conclusions about the owners of these watches:
1. They need to work out their biceps and forearms. Therefore, every time they need to tell time they simple lift the arm at a slight incline to look at the watch every twenty minutes or so.
2. They somehow feel that a giant watch is a status symbol. The bigger the watch the bigger the……
…Yeah. Those watches need to be destroyed because they’re so damn unpractical. Unless, of course, you sport one of these watches, in which case, I’ll commend you for your bravery and ask you about LARPing:
In conclusion, these three items can join Visa cards and the Barenaked Ladies for all I care. The moral of this story is “EVERYTHING IN MODERATION”. Scarves: fine. Giant bath towels: fashion pet peeve. Skinny jeans: Okay at times. Spandex clown pants: Scary as hell. Watches: Perfectly normal. Wrist weights: Seriously?
THE END.
