Wow, who knew it’d be months before I’d update this again? I was super stoked on the hip world of blogging and then somehow lost the drive increasingly day by day as I was working on papers, driving to school, and doing real-life activities. Now kids, don’t get offended. Blogging can be super. But it also is on a virtual palette, so keep that in mind. I must say, the legitimacy of blogging can be used in many ways and in many environments. I thought about this more and more, and my desire to blog again ensued.
It’s been an interesting month and a half, or two months, or however long it’s been. School started, life got busy, I got another kitty! Some of my friends have drifted off into new realms and life experiences. Ya know, that’s great, and life is always full of changes and new experiences that shape us. Thus is life, right? It’s interesting, though, to see how some people are able to completely abandon who they were and morph into an entirely different being. Shit’s crazy, right? I was looking at old photos on Sunday night with Tyler and Kelly, most of which were when this friend and I were the cat’s meow together. Interesting how I feel everything is changing around me and I don’t feel much different. Yes, I’m different I suppose, but mostly in my priorities.
For example, I love the idea of sitting at home cooking dinner, having some wine, listening to music, and having a great conversation with Tyler. Perhaps I’m sickeningly becoming domestic, but I’d rather do that then go to a bar. Oh, plus I’m broke. So this pleasant little evening may also be determined by my wallet as well.
So, I believe this may be one of the most boring blogs I’ve ever written, but it’s been a bittersweet few months. I love being in love, I feel a loss in myself for that part that contained my friend who now I don’t even recognize. Her identities have fluctuated, ebbed and flowed like the waves of San Francisco bay, and finally that sliver of herself that had been maintained for the past five years finally got lost in the sea. It’s sad, really. Who knows, maybe that’s what people say about me. I still feel the same, I still look relatively the same (the hair is back to blonde-my physical identity is restored!) and I still value most of the same things.
I also made an image board, which is so Oprah-ed out I’m rather embarassed to admit it, but I think it’s a good daily reminder of what I already value in my life (myself, Tick Tock the kitty, Tyler, good food, learning, teaching, bicycle riding, etc.) and what I want in my life (to be a good teacher, to vacation in a tropical island, to live environmentally aware, to have love and be happy amidst a lifestyle of simplicity) so hopefully I can keep adding to the board and hopefully be able to materialize those images and thoughts into a reality. After all, isn’t that how we’re supposed to directly engage and communicate with the universe? I think and therefore I am. The energy I put out is the energy I’ll ultimately receive. It’s what I’m hoping, so my flaws of gossiping, worrying too much, procrastinating, and having moments of all-over, body aching depression for no reason at all need to end. Cease to exist. Though the last one may be hard to control, getting rid of the others may aid in depleting any sense of melancholy that rattles one’s bones. I have a good life! NO sense in being an emo sissy right? Ha.
So there you have it folks: the most boring and superfluous blog ever to have been printed on the web matter under my name. I’m sure I’m the only one who will go back and read the whole damn thing.
I leave you with this:
